Showing up for Sex: How to Get in the Mood for Sex

Sometimes life gets really busy, but that shouldn’t keep you from showing up for sex. It could be children, work, social engagements, being a care taker or something all together different that is putting a kink in your sex life (or, taking the kink out, should we say). Fostering a healthy sex life not only strengthens the bond between you and your partner, but it also improves your health. Sex can improve your blood pressure, it can strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and help to regulate your cortisol (the stress hormone) levels. It isn’t something you should be giving up!

With benefits like these, why not try showing up for sex more often? Showing up simply means trying. Honestly, we’re not always in the mood for sex, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t create or work to create the desire to engage in sexual activity. A little kissing, hugging or a loving touch might be just the thing to get your desire going. Not to mention, it can be a lot of fun too.

Tips to try to add a little more sex in your life

Perhaps you prefer a certain type of touch or maybe an in-depth discussion is enough to get you aroused and engaged in sexual activity. Here are a few tips to try to get in the mood.

• Try taking a relaxing shower or bath with your partner. Add some candles, sensual scents or music to set the tone.
• Put on whatever makes you feel sexy. It could be a dress, a certain pair of shoes, perfume, lingerie or it might be nothing at all—just being nude may be a sexual experience for you.
• Sit down facing each other wherever you are both comfortable. Take a few deep breaths and touch hands, feet or any other body part. Look at each other and take the other person in. Think about all the things you love about your partner. Try to memorize features in their face. Remember a past moment that made you smile or make a list of why you are grateful to have this person in your life. You may notice that your breath begins to mirror your partner’s or the other way around. Stay this way for as long as you like. Feel free to move into any other posture as the notion strikes. You can also try this sitting back to back, but you won’t be able to see one another.
• Just dive right in. When the water is cold, dipping your toe isn’t always the best option. Jumping right in and fully submerging can be helpful in making the transition. Once you get started, you may find that you’re oh so glad you did.

We’re not always in the mood for some nookie, but you shouldn’t forgo it altogether- and sometimes all you need is a little inspiration to get going.

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